What is Transnational mothering?
Transnational mothering is defined as mothering from a distance (usually from another country) and having a caretaker watch over and take of the children.
How do parents decide whether or not to bring their children with them?
Making the decision to either bring their children or leave them behind is not an easy choice for these mothers but they make a choice they think is best for their family. Although these mothers are leaving their children behind, it does not mean they do not love and care for them. When mother migrates, the decision to bring children is weighted by the number of resources that are available for the daily care of their children.
They may be left behind due to protection from the uncertain dangers that may arise when traveling across land or border (if they do not have legal documents). Another reason may be due to the financial costs. Mothers have to determine if they are able to pay for the costs that arise when travel, or able to pay for resources such as childcare if the children come with them. Gender plays a small role in this decision when children are young, but as children grow up their gender plays a role in determining whether they will come to their mother, stay behind, or be sent for.
Mother’s fears/struggles:
- Worry that the children will not be well fed, clothed or cared for.
- The children will feel abandoned, or unloved
- Children will be neglected or abused
- Children will not receive proper schooling, educational support, or moral guidance
- Worry that children will get into trouble during adolescence (in school, with law enforcement, or in peer groups)
- Will transfer their allegiance and affection to their caretakers (or otherwise known as “new mom”)
- Something bad will happen to the children while mothers are not around
- Struggle with taking care of children present needs, and securing opportunities for their children’s future
How do mother’s show their love and support:
- Phone Calls
- Video calls
- Letters
- Texting
- Remittances
- Remittances is defined as sending back money to family back in the home country
- Use remittances as another indicator that they love their children and are supporting them
- These mothers are doing everything possible to give their children a better life in the way they think is best
- Transnational mothers seek to mesh caregiving and guidance with breadwinning because they are trying to bridge relationships with their children
Emotional Consequences:
Transnational parenting affects women more greatly because they cannot visit their children as easily as fathers, and their absence is seen as more upsetting to their children and the family order. Due to this, women feel guiltier than fathers about their difficulties in parenting from a distance.
Mothering from a distance has consequences such as feelings of helplessness, regret, and guilt for mothers and loneliness, insecurities, and vulnerability for children. As a result, children of transnational mothering have discussed feelings of a gap between their relationship with their mother and anger for being felt behind.
Transnational mothers struggle with the separation but they choose to withstand these hardships due to the financial gains that come with transnationalism.
Call for action, and what you should know:
Being a transnational mother means more than being a mother to children raised in another country, and it does not mean that these women do not care for their children or do not miss them. These women are trying to parenting and care for their children the best they can.
It is important to realize that readers and individuals who are not transnational mother should not to place blame onto these mothers for trying to maximize their earning potential by becoming migrant workers but to highlight structural inequalities that constrain the options mothers to have to provide for their families.
Understanding that these women are not bad moms for moving to another country and leaving their children with a family member or caretaker is crucial, and what you can do is read and understand first-person accounts of what transnational mother is like. Click here.By doing this you will be ending the perpetuating stereotype that these women are bad mothers, and have a more well-rounded understanding of their experiences.
Sources:
Parreñas, R. S. (2001). Mothering from a distance: Emotions, gender, and intergenerational relations in Filipino transnational families. Feminist Studies, 27(2), 361-390.
Dreby, J. (2009). Negotiating Work and Parenting over the Life Course: Mexican Family Dynamics in a Bi-national Context. In Foner, N. (Ed.), Across Generations: Immigrant Families in America (pp. 190-218). New York, NY: New York University Press.
Hondagneu-Sotelo, P. & Avila, E. (2003). “I’m Here, but I’m There”: The Meanings of Latina Transnational Motherhood. In Hondagneu-Sotelo, P. (Ed.), Gender and U.S. Immigration: Contemporary trends (pp. 317-340). Berkeley, California: University of California Press.
Thorne B., Orellana, M.F., Lam, W.S.E., & Chee, A. (2003). Raising Children, and Growing Up, Across National Borders: Comparative Perspectives on Age, Gender, and Migration. In Hondagneu-Sotelo, P. (Ed.), Gender and U.S. Immigration: Contemporary trends (pp. 241-262). Berkeley, California: University of California Press.
UM-D Women's & Gender Studies
UM-D Gender & Globalization 
A fantastic blog post and very organized. The perspective of transnational mothers reminded of a case in Enloe’s text “Love for Gold” about migrant mothers from the global south who leave their own families and children to take care of other families in the global north. It’s quite powerful how the role of being a mother in part is the reason the women migrate to take care of their own families. You outlined this relationship well.
Great topic and discussion, I found your post very informative and I loved your call to action on the struggles that transnational mothers face in order to provide for their children. The children’s art work was a nice touch, as a mother myself I know how I cherish my children’s artwork and I am sure that that picture by the airport would be particularly heartbreaking for a mother who was leaving her child.
Fantastic blog post! Great topic – I had never given much thought to this before. Super well organized and you hit all the important things. This was a great read.
This is a really important topic to cover, along with stance that they’re not bad mothers. While we covered this topic in class, I understood the disconnect a mother could have from her child while being far away. I also understood that this same disconnect could make the child value their unfulfilled emotional needs over their financial needs. Though, what I didn’t give thought to was the outsider perspective of people viewing transnational mothers as bad mothers. What also didn’t occur to me was the racial aspect mentioned in Amy’s account, noting the differences between black and white responses. It opened up information that never really occurred to me.
This is such an important topic that needs to be discussed more. These women who have to leave their families behind should not be shamed or seen as “bad mothers.” They are actually great mothers because they are doing everything in their power to provide as much as possible for their family. It is especially hard on their children because they do not fully understand why their mother has left them. The feminist movement is a global movement and if we are to empower all women,, then women of third world nations must be counted as well. First world women are exploiting other women for their own personal gains and children are the ones who then suffer the most.
This was a great post! I agree that women, who work in different countries away from their children, can be seen in a negative light. This reminds me of the Five Languages of Love, showing that there are different ways people show love. For these mothers, it is that they are trying to make a living so that their children can grow up without any financial struggles. The problem, though, lies with the children not having their mother next to them. This can cause a lot of psychological damage. The mother is sacrificing her whole life just for her children. I believe it is the ultimate sacrifice.
Very interesting piece